I Am Going Home

I Am Coming Home by Skylar Grey, Take Me Home Country Home by John Denver, and Who says you can’t Go Home by Bon Jovi are the best songs that could delve out the title of this write-up.

Recently, Fr. Pius ShabaMukama told me a beautiful story! I am going home

Once upon a time Mr. Rushekye, a famous local beer drinker went to drink his best liquor as always. He drunk himself to the extent that his legs could not move him any further towards his home, the best walking style he could venture into was a staggering style that even his head could not think about his next intentions of his life. Seeing banana plantations was like seeing many enemies coming to end his life.

As he could not help himself any longer, he decided to sleep in the water-logged pit in the plantation. A friend of his named Muzahuura was also on his way towards home and realized his companion could not carry his head any more. All kind of negotiations were made but the only word from Mr. Rushekyes’ mouth was I AM GOING HOME. Even in his poor state, he knew he wanted to go home by all means.

Mr. Rushekye sobered up and jumped up from the water-logged pit with the aid of Mr. Muzahuura. He was helped to get to his home. Every time Mr. Rushekye thought of drinking, he would think about the mess he will be in towards going home.

In his drunkard state, going home was his goal, how to get there was not his worry, but he wanted to go home. Not sure of how Mr. Rushekye eventually managed to get back home but rumour has it that he drinks with immense discipline in mind that he will go home.

Our home is heaven. We are all drunk, we all need that Muzahuura “rescuer”.

Our drunkardness is sin, our rescuer towards Heaven our home is confession. Confession allows us to hold ourselves accountable for these sins and seek true forgiveness. The soul needs confession to cleanse itself, allowing us to repair our relationship with Christ. Confession grants us sacramental grace, helping to repair the bonds we break with God when we sin.

Even in sin, we need to implant I AM GOING HOME in our hearts. How to get there its another story, but we should go home.

When I started looking at confession as an opportunity to reconcile myself to the God I love, it stopped being a burden and became a blessing. It’s not a get out of jail free card but it is a fresh start. We forgive those we love. How much happier is God to forgive us. He doesn’t get tired of it. Like how Muzahuura was not ready to let his friend stay in dirt, it’s the same way he Jesus through confession will help us get home.

Afterward I came to better understand the importance of this difficult sacrament. There is something transcendent in admitting my faults out loud. It requires that hard-to-come-by virtue of humility.  It means I have to be vulnerable and raw. I have to unite myself with Christ on the cross. It wasn’t until I started going to confession regularly that I began to understand what it meant that Jesus died for our sins.  It wasn’t just the sins of the people back in his day. God is outside of time, so he also died for our sins, for my sins, so we can be forgiven and saved and one day spend eternity with him, not separated from him. As I’ve prayed more and learned to love Jesus more, I’ve grown in the desire to not hurt him.

Whether reflecting on the Sorrowful Mysteries, listening to the Passion on Palm Sunday or watching Mel Gibson’s movie The Passion of Christ, the depth of Jesus’ suffering is revealed to me, the agony and torture he endured, the brutality of his experience, all accepted because of his great love for each of us. Imagine a love that great. Those who are parents get a taste of it, but God’s love for us is even bigger. When I frame it like this I start to see that the heart palpitations and slight feeling of nausea that can accompany walking into the confessional are tiny compared to what Christ experienced for me. I also am reminded that confession wasn’t created to make me feel bad, but to free me. God loves me so much that he wants my soul to be as clean as possible when I come to him. He wants to forgive me and shower me with love. All he asks is that I tell him I’m sorry. And believe that what come may I am going home soon.

Sem. Robert Bigabwarugaba

robertbigabwarugaba@gmail.com

St Paul’s National Seminary – Kinyamasik